Monday, April 01, 2013

Facebook fallout from unfriending

Hey there,

So...I've received my first threat from unfriending someone on Facebook. No joke, this was one of their last messages to me.
"It's "just Facebook" but you took time out of your day to "punish" me for liking something on your wall. Actions have consequences in this small town. Toodles!"
Up on his wall, barely hours after?

People do things on Facebook that they would never do if they had to "Face" the person they're doing it to IRL (in real life). It's called Facerage, and it can get you thrown in jail.
 And:
...I've misbehaved a lot on here, everyone knows that. And I will take my lumps. But I will also put the boot to the face of anyone who defriends me for no good reason. Shall I name names?
So I guess these were the consequences, because guess what? Not only did he name me, but there were 6 others he named. Honestly, it was actually kind of reaffirming to know I wasn't the only one. Was I worried that he called me out? Not really.

It's funny, Mashable just had an article in March titled 5 Alternatives to Unfriending Someone on Facebook which said this at on point:
Facebook unfriending can be awkward or taken personally, often making it more trouble than it's worth.
I've been on both sides of it, and everyone has their reason. I personally thought I had a good one, in that I had gotten into a heated Facebook exchange with another friend, and through it all, the ex-friend Liked one of their comments, and none of mine. Not that I took it personally, but it was just indicative of a general mentally and mindset represented in the particular comment that I honestly don't need or want in my life.

But from said person's point of view, I was "punishing" them for liking something on my wall, which was a fairly oversimplified statement of the situation. The reality was more nuanced and complex.

And not only that, there were 6 people OTHER THAN ME. I'd think most people would take multiple..."unfriendings" as a sign that maybe it's not OTHER people that are the problem, if there's any problem at all, to begin with.

Sometimes people also just go different ways. And we all have different barometers. One I loved, which a friend shared, was this:
"The defriending is usually when the answer to the question "would I stop on the street and say hi to this person" is no."
 So there it is. I can see what Mashable was saying, but honestly, this reaction just confirmed that this was not someone I probably wanted to be friends with in the first place.

And I even said so in my own Facebook post, although I did not name names. Because what does that accomplish? Trying to get people to choose sides? All I know is that if someone every puts me in that position, I tend to favor the party that didn't try to make me pick. Which is exactly what I wouldn't want any of our mutual friends to have to do.

That's that. Any thoughts? Questions? Stories of your own? Please share in the comments, below,

JR

Post a Comment