Bullying and "pussies"

Hey there,

Ah Social Media...just when I think I know you. So I came across an AP story about Karen Klein, the bus monitor that was bullied, taking a portion of the money people donated to her, and started an anti-bullying foundation.

If you're not familiar with the incident, you can google it, as well as watch the video which thrust the incident onto the national, and even international, stage. I personally haven't, and can't.

So, I posted the link on Facebook, and a friend shared it on her own page.  She said thanks, I responded you're welcome and then someone posted this:

Him: I mean I get it but is it just me or do people seem to be such huge pussies nowadays. By todays standard half the shit I encountered or possibly did myself growing up could be considered bullying or being bullied. I didn't whine about it or kill myself I just manned up.

This was not someone I knew so I can only assume it was a mutual friend at best. Now this is the part I love and hate about social media. Interacting with people you don't know in real life. Nevertheless, I responded with the following:

Me: I would have to say it is just you. I would recommend reading this article, because "bullying" is not the same as when we might've been growing up. Suicides aren't a sign that people are weaker than you might've been, it's a sign that they're enduring things (successfully and not) that make what you dealt with look like bullying foreplay. 

Besides, in a lot of cases (this bus monitor aside), we're not talking about people that are adults, we're talking about youth finding their way and coming into their own in a different world than the one we knew as youths.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/kids-health/5-reasons-bullying-is-worse-than-ever.aspx

And yes, we're not even addressing the fact that these kids were bullying an adult. I don't know about you, but I grew up respecting my elders. If anything, this was just proof positive that bullying is worse than its been. To which the individual who called those who are bullied pussies responded with:

Him: You're reply is riddled with assumptions that you know where I grew up, how I grew up or what I've encountered growing up.

I get that I really do I just think nowadays we live in a society of excuses. People don't man up, children are coddled and made to believe they're super special but when something comes along that shows them they're at best unexceptional at worst, they can't cope.

‎*Normal at best unexceptional at worst *

At this point, I took the gloves off. I thought I made my point, I backed it up with a source. But it was clear this was someone who had a world view that I would argue is part of the problem in dealing with the bullying issue. People that think they know what kids are going through today, and that think not being able to cope is their own fault, when it's not. I know plenty of adults who are still learning to cope, and have lost friends to suicide because they in a moment lost the ability and saw no other option. And we're not even talking about adults here, we're talking about kids killing themselves at younger ages. And a disproportionate number of those are LGBT youth. But that's neither here nor there. Here's my response to his claim that my reply assumed things:

Me: No it's not, it's based on summing up the points made in the link, one of the primary factors being the compounding effects cyber-bullying has on young people's psyches. I may not know how you grew up or anything about that, but I know for a fact that you didn't grow up with the social media platforms which enable youth to bully each other online in addition to having to face bullying and the real and cyber effects of it in person. 

"But thanks to the rise of social media and the Internet, bullying is no longer confined to just school property or hours." 

I made no assumptions about you, I merely stated the fact that things are different today than they were before. I'm sorry that you misunderstood any of my points, but definitely ask you re-read them and the article and comment on what I said. I can continue to give my two cents as well as post links, quote articles and include facts, but the conversation's useless if you're just going to ignore all that and resort to personal experience, anecdote, and personal "thoughts" devoid the context of anyone else's reality but your own. 

It sounds like you have an axe to grind against children that are coddled and what's worse is that the implication is that suicide is something that they deserve because they can't deal with being bullied. Even if that were true (and I'd like to see any facts you have to back that up that all children who commit suicide from being bullied were coddled), being coddled isn't the fault of the child but the parent, and the next step in your logic would be that parents who coddle their children deserve to have their kids take their own lives for not making them tougher. I personally wouldn't wish that on anyone, regardless of what I think of their parenting style. 

You say we live in a society of excuses, but the irony is that you sure seem to be making excuses for why anyone but the bully is responsible for what happens in terms of others reactions as a result of their actions, which to me would be the logical place to start. I'd say that you're point of view is a bigger problem we have, a society where some people like to try to blame the victim. 

Maybe something to think about.

I take a note from Ender's Game in my discussions and debates, making the points to drive the nail in the coffin. But sometimes, when people are so stuck in what they want to believe, or get defensive when being criticized, or sometimes don't even realize what they said, they find a way to pivot and still have something to respond to. And this person did:

Him: Ummm ... Where did I say bullies escape all blame? Where did I say those who are bullied are to blame? Where did I say I have an axe to grind with children? Again you seem bent on connecting dots that aren't even there. You apparently feel passionate about this and i can respect that about but don't let it turn you into being unable to see the difference between what I actually wrote as opposed to what you think I meant.

To which my rule of 3 kicked in. I have a rule of 3 for a lot of things, and in this case it was that my next response, my third one, would be my final one. Say all that I have to say, address what I can, and hope some of it sinks in. It's a response of last resort where I don't beat around the bush (not that I was earlier). But for me it's a little bittersweet. It's where I realize that there is no exchange of critical thought happening, and that we are just two brick walls running into each other. That being said, this final exchange is where I fortify mine while knocking the other one down. And so my final response was:

Me: okay...it's apparent you haven't thought about this as much as others, including myself, but trust that my comments have been in direct response to what you've typed (as I have nothing else to go on) and just because you never explicitly "blamed" anyone, that doesn't mean it wasn't implied. Regardless, I'll attempt once more to engage and respond to you on this, by answering what it seems like you think were rhetorical questions. 

To answer your 2nd question, I'll just start with your first comment: 

"I mean I get it but is it just me or do people seem to be such huge pussies nowadays. By todays standard half the shit I encountered or possibly did myself growing up could be considered bullying or being bullied. I didn't whine about it or kill myself I just manned up."
Hopefully that doesn't need to be explained, how you are putting the fault on those whore bullied. But I can do so if need be. 

To address your 3rd question, I didn't say you have an axe to grind with children, I said it seems like you have one (aka an issue with) children who are coddled (so don't take my words out of context), in which case I'll just quote your third comment: 

"I get that I really do I just think nowadays we live in a society of excuses. People don't man up, children are coddled and made to believe they're super special but when something comes along that shows them they're at best unexceptional at worst, they can't cope." 

Now to go back to your first question, you never say bullies escape all blame outright. But between you blaming children for being pussies in your first comment, and you not only reiterating that belief in your second comment but at the very most implying the parents as culpable, at no point do you mention those doing the bullying as factor in the situation, nor do you respond to the point I made and supported that bullying is worse now than its ever been.
Again, you don't ever say bullies are to blame, but the only ones you've mentioned are to blame are the pussies who don't man up and end up committing suicide (your first comment, paraphrased). 

I don't seem bent on connecting the dots. I just do. Unfortunately, it seems like you've resorted to projecting as you seem to be bent on ignoring good and valid points that unfortunately don't jive well with your own person world view. 

I'd ask you to not only carefully read what I wrote, but to read what you wrote as well and ask yourself what exactly it was you meant. Because if I got the wrong idea, then please correct me. But don't think any of my responses were completely baseless. 

I will say you're right on one thing. I am passionate about this issue, because I don't think it's fair to call children who don't have the tools and capacity you did, some of which end up taking their own lives, pussies. To which I'll end where I began, responding to your initial comment and reiterating that yes, it is just you.

I know I might've gone too far. I have a tendency to over-communicate rather than under-communicate. I'm not going to say that bullying's never existed before, but I do think people underestimate and misunderstand its causes and effects, particularly with Media 2.0

What do you think? Should I have even bothered? Does this sound like conversations you've had, and which side have you been on? What other high-profile incidents do you remember?

Please share in the comments, and let me know if this is an issue that you'd like to read more about,

-JR

What's hate got to do with it? Last week's FRC shooting

Hey there,

So remember that shooting last week at the "Family Research Council"? I know, that was barely a week ago. And Legitimate Rape Gate blew up on Sunday. Not saying that we, as a collective, can't focus on more than one issue at a time. But Social Media, and the 24/7 news cycle it fosters certainly doesn't help.

Just in case, last Wednesday a man entered the lobby of the FRC and shot a guard in the arm, before he was restrained and arrested. A number of LGBT groups signed on to a statement that was almost immediately released:

"We were saddened to hear news of the shooting this morning at the offices of the Family Research Council. Our hearts go out to the shooting victim, his family, and his co-workers. 

The motivation and circumstances behind today’s tragedy are still unknown, but regardless of what emerges as the reason for this shooting, we utterly reject and condemn such violence. We wish for a swift and complete recovery for the victim of this terrible incident."

 View the statement and see which organizations signed on at GLAAD's website.

2 days after, FRC released a statement on its website, titled "After the Shooting, We're Still Standing". Contrasted with the joint sympathy from LGBT groups, for an organization that has actively demonized the LGBT community, if you read the statement, it doesn't take long before FRC's affirmation turns into accusation:

...I believe it was the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), which has recklessly labeled groups like FRC that they disagree with as "hate groups," that created this hostile environment."

Unfortunately for them, SPLC is anything but reckless in its methods. SPLC has a great page on the Family Research Council breaking down in depth why the organization fits under the label of being a hate group. They also had a well-written response to FRC's attempt to pivot the focus of the incident:

Perkins’ accusation is outrageous. The SPLC has listed the FRC as a hate group since 2010 because it has knowingly spread false and denigrating propaganda about LGBT people — not, as some claim, because it opposes same-sex marriage. The FRC and its allies on the religious right are saying, in effect, that offering legitimate and fact-based criticism in a democratic society is tantamount to suggesting that the objects of criticism should be the targets of criminal violence. (read more)

Some conservatives have nonetheless jumped on the bandwagon and used this incident to criticize SPLC for "enabling" an act like this against an organization that supports traditional marriage, and as the tip of the iceberg of a larger war on religion. There's an article CNN put out, SPLC draws conservative ire, which discussed this. Part of the main complaint is that the FRC, in being labeled a hate group, shares the stage with white supremacist, neo-nazi, and other similar groups that might more readily come to mind.

But one of the best responses to this apples and oranges argument I've seen is up on The Christian Century, written by Steve Thorngate:

When the Southern Poverty Law Center listed the FRC as a hate group, I affirmed the SPLC's move (as did a Century editorial). Others protested, often contrasting the FRC with violent fringe groups. Hate, this argument seems to take as given, by definition lacks widespread support and engages in violence. 

But that's not the SPLC's definition. And the SPLC didn't simply lob the label "hate group" at the FRC and let people react as they may. It carefully and soberly spelled out its case: the FRC doesn't just criticize gays and lesbians, it speaks of them in totalizing and demonizing ways. And it relies on junk science to do this. According to the SPLC, this constitutes a form of hate. (read more)

To further my initial analogy, sure, even if this is a case of apples and oranges, they're both still fruit. No pun or irony intended, with this...no really. Hate is hate, regardless of how it manifests itself.

But I digress. One other article I thought really put things into perspective was one from the Baltimore Sun, on the politicization of the incident:

The SPLC has its own mission and its own criteria for evaluating organizations. Whether it was right in calling the FRC a hate group is not a debate that gay rights leaders need to have. (read more)

And we're back where we started, with LGBT groups unanimously denouncing this violent act. In addition to that, Chad Griffin (president of the Human Rights Campaign) tactfully addressed the very issue brought up above a couple of days ago, in a Washington Post opinion piece, weighing in on the conversation that  has been happening while putting perspective and remaining relatively objective. I love the point that he ends with:

We welcome the calls for reasoned discourse about LGBT equality. But that discussion must be predicated on truth, not demonization. No right-thinking person can believe a difference of opinion is license to do harm. At least on that, all of us can agree. (read more).

There's much more than I can address here, anywhere from FRC threatening to sue the SPLC, to discussions of what constitutes hate. Thoughts or comments, please share them, as well as any other articles you've found compelling.

And if there are any topics, current news, or issues you'd like me to consider for upcoming LGBT Tuesday posts, please let me know,

-JR

Paul Ryan and the Meme'ing of life

Hey there,

So with the announcement of the presumptive (a technicality that just seems silly) Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's vice presidential pick, Paul Ryan, thought it'd be a good chance to look at the ripple effects in the social media pool. This is turning into one in a limited series of posts on Paul Ryan as he intersects with my own interests. Last week, I blogged about Paul Ryan & LGBT issues. Later this week I'll be blogging about his support (or lack of support) for the arts.

The first would be Paul Ryan's twitter account, or should I say accounts, as there are two. One he was using as a representative who's last tweet as of the time of this post was:

My thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their families and everyone in Oak Creek who has been impacted by this tragic act of violence.
— Paul Ryan (@RepPaulRyan) August 5, 2012

And one he is using as the Republican VP pick, who's first tweet was:

I'm honored to join @mittromney on America's Comeback Team. mi.tt/Romney-Ryan #RomneyRyan2012
— Paul Ryan (@PaulRyanVP) August 11, 2012

Not only does this mean that there were 6 days of Twitter silence, but it seems he's sacrificed one channel for the other. I would personally say that this would have been a great opportunity to show that he's still engaged in the work of his current office while campaigning, and that one doesn't have to choose. But it also seems that both accounts have been used to broadcast rather than for discourse, and while both are forms of engagement, I believe the latter more active engagement is where social media has its true value, rather than the former, more passive and traditional one.

Now where things get interesting for me are the memes and parodies that have been inspired by this pick. In fact, the main meme is actually a marriage with a previous one, the Ryan Gosling one. If you're not familiar with it, check out this article at Social Times from last year. If you're familiar with it (or read the link), the following will make sense in the context of humor:

Hey girl, let's take the "u" out of "uterus."
— Paul Ryan Gosling (@PaulRyanGosling) August 20, 2012

Mashable actually has a piece from last week about the Paul Ryan Gosling meme:

“Have election season, will meme” would be an apt tagline for this year’s presidential election, as evidenced by the latest and so far greatest of Twitter political parody accounts, @PaulRyanGosling. (read more)

If you wanna see some gems, The Daily Beast highlighted some of the best ones. And in true form with the Ryan Gosling meme, which was visually driven (images with captions), there is a Paul Ryan Gosling Tumblr. The internets aside, this meme has apparently made a real world appearance. Jezebel has a piece about a Paul Ryan Gosling quote flown over an actual Paul Ryan rally.

As long as we're talking real world effects from the memes of cyberspace, Policymic has a piece on the pros and cons of this one:

...the “Paul Ryan Gosling” meme could be damaging to the Romney/Ryan ticket; especially, since one of the narratives Obama and the Democrats are going to hammer away is the GOP’s supposed “War on Women.” In this sense, the “Paul Ryan Gosling” Tumblr is pure evil genius. (read more)

And I'm sure it's just going to get more interesting over the next couple of months, especially once the debates start. One meme I personally hope to see more of is this one:

Yes, that would be RuPaul Ryan. A good note to end on, I think. Any Paul Ryan Gosling favorites you have? Definitely share them.

The only other political meme that seems to have gained traction in recent time is the "Texts from Hillary" one. Are there any other political memes you've observed or remembered that compare?

Please comment with any of them, or just thoughts in general.

- JR

It's not about class envy

Hey there,

So a friend of mine shared on Facebok a Politico piece, "Ryan’s mom is new face in Medicare wars". A friend of his replied with a response (and I'm paraphrasing) asking about all the rhetoric with regard to class envy, from his friends on the left. And he put it in the context of what is he supposed to teach his sons, if financial responsibility is a character flaw, and being rich is "demonized". To which I responded with this:

[My friend's friend]: I believe you've taken one word/label completely out of context from [my friend]'s comment. I'm not saying it doesn't have the tone you're justifiably reacting to, but I'd try to look at it without having a proverbial axe to grind. Because this isn't about class envy. 

In this context, I would say there's a difference between being "rich" and being "financially responsible", although I prefer the term "financially successful and upwardly mobile". I would also say that the matter is further complicated by one's responsibility to self, and one's responsibility to community. And there is the rub. 

I'll also say that I would warn you against implying that anyone who isn't making a profit professionally (i.e. saving more than their spending) implies that they're financially irresponsible. But that's a whole other bag of worms 

With [my friend]'s use, despite successfully amassing wealth, the implication is that because of Ms. Ryan's financial status, she probably won't be able to speak intelligently to people who aren't in her financial position, much less understand that because of their economic situation they might not have the freedom or options she has. 

So the other point with being responsible is that (again in this context) "rich" people see themselves financially responsible only for themselves, to which I will say that this is indeed a character flaw of such people, as they exist in their community. To beat dead horses, if money is power and with great power comes great responsibility, then I would conclude that the more one is financially successful, the more responsibility they have, as a member of their community, to others. 

And herein lies the rub. For "rich people", it is often perceived that not only is that responsibility a choice, but it's a choice that "rich" people don't make. Because when financially successfully people do make that choice, I believe we tend to call them philanthropists. 

So I would say bring your sons up with the ambition that you seem to have if not more, teach them the need to be financially responsible, but don't stop there. Let them know that it's not about how much they make, but what they decide to do with their financial success that will make them great.

Anyway, it was one of the FB posts where I realized I pretty much just wrote a substantial blog entry, and so wanted to share here. Due to respect for my friend's privacy, instead of linking to the original post, I had to copy mine in it's entirety here. And, to clarify, by no means am I saying that this post is a comprehensive definition of any of these terms. I'm merely breaking down the understanding and implication of "rich" in the context of this post and response.

With that, curious what others think, as I believe this is just scraping the surface of larger debates and discussions that have been going on in the public sphere. I realize that the idea of financial successful people having more responsibility to their community and society is a value judgement on my own part, to which I would attribute I get from my mom, and not just my Catholic upbringing, but really seeing her practice it.

She would practice it to the point where my dad would regularly joke (and it all comes from a place of love), about how many friends and families she helps and sometimes takes care of back in the Philippines. But if you know many older Filipinos, you would know that this is not an uncommon practice. What's remarkable is that it is practiced regardless of how much or how little they make.

But I digress, in this case, here in America, I believe that the difference between rich people and philanthropists, rich people think that being successful in and of itself is what makes you great while philanthropists believe that it doesn't stop there, and it is what you do with your succes that makes you great.

Would like to hear what you think, please let me know in the comments. Share any links that are relevant for you. And definitely share any examples that come to mind, or which you've experienced,

-JR

SXSW panels I recommend checking out

Hey there,

So I wanted to share some panels that have come up in my FB feed and twitter stream, proposals for next year's SXSW Interactive. If you're not familiar, here's a blurb from their page:

The 20th annual SXSW Interactive Festival will take place March 8-12, 2013 in Austin, Texas. An incubator of cutting-edge technologies and digital creativity, the event features five days of compelling presentations from the brightest minds in emerging technology, scores of exciting networking events hosted by industry leaders and an unbeatable line-up of special programs showcasing the best new websites, video games and startup ideas the community has to offer

Let me just point out that the following highlighted panels are not the result of any comprehensive vetting process. They are mostly people, and in one case an organization, that I've been fortunate enough to connect with in person.

That being said, I'm not receiving any compensation from any of of the people or organizations I mention below.

I also don't believe in coincidence, and I'm grateful to know those I've crossed paths with. Because people, in general, are up to amazing things.  With that, here are some panels I recommend checking out.

Education

• Minerva Project & 2tor CEOs: Future of Higher Ed - "Higher education is transforming before our eyes. Universities and colleges are under increasing pressure to stay relevant during the current digital revolution. But with a plethora of options, ranging from...(read more)"
• College Vs. UnCollege: Are Degrees Worth It? - "In the Information Age, where knowledge has become ubiquitously accessible and informal education courses and certificates have blossomed, do formal college degrees still offer enough...(read more)"
• My connection - I sing with a guy who works at 2tor, a company which has a representative on each panel proposed. You can check them out at their website previously linked, or also on Facebook.

Health, health care, and patient advocacy

• Crowds for Care - "Who Controls what new drugs, treatments, and tech will emerge to improve care? Until now, the answer was only giant corporations and government committees because they control the funding. In July 2012, Patients and Doctors began funding the healthcare innovations that they care about through Crowdfunding, creating a huge wave of support that the corporations and government love because...(read more)"
• My connection - Regina Holliday, she is one of the speakers on the panel. I met this wonderful woman at the first Social Justice Camp DC. In a related note, if you'd like to see the FB note I posted after the first night of this event, you can check it out here. You can found out more about her at her blog, as well as follow her on Twitter, and connect with her on Facebook. I encourage you to do any, if not all, of the above.

Nonprofits & social media

• We <3 Social Data! But What Do We Do With It? - "Lots of nonprofits are buying social data, giving them an unprecedented amount of information about individual supporters. But once you have it, what do you do with it?" (Read more)
• My connection - one of the panelists is with Small Act, who's tag line really sums up what they do, "Make a big impact in social media". I've gone to a couple of free trainings at the Foundation Center in DC, led by a small act employee, the wonderful Annie Lynsen who's position is Director of Awesomeness. And awesome is what anything they're involved with is guaranteed to be. You can follow them on Twitter and like them on Facebook.

Theatre

• Smooth Scrum: Lessons from the Theatre - "The last few decades of the American theater have seen a rapid growth in the number of ‘devising ensembles’—playwrights, actors, directors, and designers working together in collaborative groups to develop plays. It's agile development for the American stage. Instead of beginning with a script...(read more)
• Here's a video embedded on the proposal page:

• My connection - This is actually a second degree one, but the DC Theatre community is small like that, which I love. When I put it out on Twitter that I would be blogging about this, a fellow DC artist, friend, and social media rockstar, Chelsey (aka @chelseydc) tweeted back
  

  @awayoflife0 Talk to @gwydions! #dcarts#sxsw
  — Chelsey Christensen (@chelseydc) August 18, 2012 

   And I did. Well, Gwydion actually got to me first, and let me know about his proposal, which I promptly found and voted for. You can follow him on Twitter.

So there's that. I hope this helps you sift through the multitude of proposals if you've been in it, and if not, I hope this is a good start. And if there's any that you're involved with or support, certainly share them in the comments. But don't just copy & paste the link. At least say a little bit about how you're involved or connected.

And for any other friends who have proposals, let me know. Also, I want to go!! If anyone is looking to have someone help out and work with their social media presence before and during, hit me up :-)

- JR

Links I shared today

Hey there,

Trying out a little experiment. Because of the nuggets of time I know I view social media feeds in, I wanted to amalgamate what I've shared today so far (mainly on Facebook & Twitter), for anyone that might've missed any of it so far.

As you might know, my content (both personal and shared) tends to focus on the arts, LGBT issues, nonprofit stuff, politics & policy, and social media, plus random funnies here and there with a dollop of geeky nerdery. And honestly, this selection is partly just the roll of the social media die, and is by no means objective. That being said, I do my best to post and share particularly compelling and timely content.

Personal

• Aids Walk Portland - support the Portland Gay Mens Chorus fundraiser but going to my friend Ricky's page. He originally had a $100 goal but people were so eager to support that he increased it to $200!!- donate here
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - so Joshua Bennett is someone I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with here in DC, and he recently moved to NYC. He's barely been there, he is one of the dancers in the following clip, Battle of the Instand Dance Crews, Part 1 - watch on Hulu here

Nonprofit

• Finally! Using Social Data to Increase Fundraising Revenue and Lift Your Advocacy on 8/23 - register at readytalk here

Politics

• 96-year-old Woman Who Voted During Jim Crow Is Denied Photo ID - read more at Nashville Scene
• In-Flight Voter Registration Available From Virgin America - read more at Huff Post Travel
• Obama better for world economy: poll - read more at Yahoo! News
• Romney Answers Obama’s Tax Returns Challenge and Makes Things Much Much Worse - read more at Politicususa
• Tom Morello: 'Paul Ryan Is the Embodiment of the Machine Our Music Rages Against' - read more at Rolling Stone
• What the Right Gets Wrong About the FRC Shooting - read more at Mother Jones

Social Media

• 42 lessons I've learned from my first 10,000 Tweets - read more at Jay Palter
• Does Google+ Matter for Small Business Marketing - read more at socialmouths
• Fear of Missing Out Drives Social Media Use - read more at MediaPostBlogs

And this, Cirque du Soleil's Totem at the National Harbor here near DC :-)

And I just got home, so who knows what else I'll share this evening!!

- JR

Gabby Douglas & public art in VA

Hey there,

It's Arts, Dance, Music & Theatre Thursday and for today's post, I wanted to post on a mural recently done of Gabby Douglas in her home town of Virginia Beach.

Wikipedia's Mural entry gives a good perspective on the history and significance of murals:

Murals are important in that they bring art into the public sphere...A city benefits by the beauty of a work of art. (read more)

In Washington, DC in particular, murals have been used as a tool for community building. In fact, there's an organization called Murals DC which is dedicated to that:

Initiated in 2007 by Ward 1 Councilmember Jim Graham, the project has resulted in the creation of over thirty murals that reflect the character, culture, and history of neighborhoods in the District (read more)

That being said, when I heard about the mural Todd and Eric Lindbergh did to celebrate Gabrielle Douglas' Olympic achievements, I could only think what I wonderful example of a community celebrating through art.

The brothers actually have a mural company called Talent Murals in Virginia Beach, Gabby's hometown, and they shared in front of the piece on their Facebook page.

In case you didn't know, Gabby currently resides in Iowa. But hometown pride is all about where you came from. And Gabby actually returned to Virginia Beach this evening.

The Virginia Pilot actually did an interview with Todd Lindbergh as it was being finished last week:

And Gabby, at her age, has shown tremendous poise and maturity. I say at her age, and not for her age, because I've seen people twice, thrice as old act half as mature. I also say that because she's had to deal with some immature and off-topic...focus. Rather than talk about her accomplishment a vocal few had to discuss her hair and insinuate that because she didn't treat or relax it, that she wasn't taking care of her appearance. Well, she responded quite gracefully, of which the below is just a portion:

“I don’t think people should be worried about that. We’re all champions and we’re all winners. I just say that it’s kind of, a stupid and crazy thought to think about my hair.”

Fortunately, she's had so much more positive than negative feedback, and all you have to do is follow her Twitter account. She's got 680,000 followers as of the time of this post and I'm sure it's still growing. You see her engaged not just by tweeting about what she's up to, but being gracious in RT'ing and responding to others. My favorite one  is the following:

“@miiss_ashley: awesome mural here in VB for @gabrielledoug !! twitter.com/miiss_ashley/s…” WOW!!! This is amazing!! #sohonored ❤❤
— Gabrielle Douglas (@gabrielledoug) August 10, 2012

Which brings us full circle, a wonderful example of a work of public art. In this case done by members of a community to celebrate the accomplishments of one of their own. Hoping Gabby gets to see it in person while she's there.

Any favorites from murals in your community? Please share. And keep an eye out for next week's Art, Dance, Music & Theatre Thursday blog, the GOP VP's nominee record on the arts,

- JR

The Burlesque scene...in DC

Hey there,

First off, I just want to start here: the video below is NOT burlesque (wow, did that really come out almost 2 years ago, already??):

Yes, I did see it, and loved it for what it was: a movie staring Cher and Christina Aguilera that had singing and dancing

Back to Burlesque, the art form. If you Google it, some definitions pop up on the first page of results, among links related to the movie. Those definitions include:

• Wikipedia - ...a literary, dramatic or musical work intended to cause laughter by caricaturing the manner or spirit of serious works, or by ludicrous treatment of their subjects. The word derives from the Italian burlesco, which itself derives from the Italian burla – a joke, ridicule or mockery (read more) 
• Dictionary.com - an artistic composition, especially literary or dramatic, that,for the sake of laughter, vulgarizes lofty material or treats ordinary material with mock dignity (read more)

Slate had a piece on burlesque, by Sasha Watson, "Real Burlesque Is So Much Sexier Than the Movie", and says at one point:

The word burlesque for a long time meant comedic imitation or exaggeration, in both theater and literature. To "burlesque" someone is to spoof them with bawdy, earthy jokes and barbs. (read more)

All that being said, I can't think of better city for there to be a burlesque scene than Washington, DC. Google "burlesque" and "Washington, DC" and one of the top sites on the first page will be the Red Palace, the love child of what were once two separate venues, The Red & The Black and the Palace of Wonders.

In fact, the Red Palace has a show coming up this Saturday, Strip Club Time Machine Burlesque, presented by Sticky Buns Burlesque. I have to admit, my own burlesque experience has been somewhat limited. I performed with two female burlesque dancers as a filler act for part of an evening length performance of one acts. More recently, my friend Jeremy hosted a local burlesque artist's birthday party at Phase 1, with his Mx. May Nads character (like her on Facebook). Keep an eye out, I'll be blogging about him this Friday.

Burlesque & Belly Laughs
Presented as part of the 2012
Capital Fringe Festival

And then most recently, that same burlesque artist, Lola, was part of a show in this year's Capital Fringe Festival, Burlesque & Belly Laughs. The show was great, and neat as it paired an improv troupe with a group of burlesque performers. And it got a 4.5 star review at DC Metro Theater Arts.

Not only did I love the show, but Lola came by the other day to hang out with Jeremy and myself, to discuss what she's got cooking in the proverbial kitchen. I'll definitely share more later, but in the meantime, check out and bookmark her website, as well as any of the other artists/venues I mentioned earlier.

Because DC's got a burlesque scene.

- JR

Paul Ryan on LGBT Isuues

Hey there,

So if you're part of and/or involved with the LGBT community now you've probably seen the Human Rights Campaign's response to the GOP's VP nomination by now:

Let's go ahead and assume that there aren't only 4 things one should know about Paul Ryan, but these are the ones HRC highlighted.

Erwin de Leon, a researcher and writer in the DC area, wrote a piece for Nonprofit Quarterly, "Ryan, Romney’s VP Pick, Stirs Viral Response from LGBT Group", and among the points of his article, I love the point he ends with, explaining the promptness with which HRC responded to the announcement.

If Romney, Ryan and most of the Republican Party didn’t adopt anti-LGBT positions, then perhaps they wouldn’t have such determined and energized opponents. (read more)

One issue that has come up is the larger conversation in terms of what LGBT issues are. This has prompted numerous exchanges all over the internets and social media, such as the one below, between Dan Savage and Chris Barron:

@chrisrbarron @cjaymahoney Ryan's position and record on gay issues: advocate.com/politics/elect…
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) August 12, 2012

@fakedansavage you nor HRC nor the Advocate get to decide what qualifies as gay issues. @cjaymahoney
— Chris Barron (@ChrisRBarron) August 12, 2012

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. To be fair the exchange was more in depth than this selection, and I gotta give props to Dan Savage for RT'ing tweets that might be critical or disagree with him.

But personal thoughts and opinions aside, I recommend reading craigkg's piece on the Daily Kos, "ABC News: Ryan more pro-LGBT than GOP; Reality: not so much". He breaks down Paul Ryan's policy history into facts based on legislative voting records, which HRC turns into a scorecard for members of congress:

[Paul Ryan's] scores, in order for the 111th through 107th Congresses are, in order: Zero, 10, Zero, Zero, Zero. That's on a 100 point scale. (read more)

So...there's that. And don't mistake me, I don't think anyone should be a single issue voter, and I'm actually going to be blogging soon about Paul Ryan's support for the arts. If anything, it's curious when a person belongs to different groups & communities whose interests sometimes come into conflict with each other. Ultimately, I believe it's the duty of every individual to inform themselves, which is what I'm just beginning to do.

I suppose I've been fortunate that I have not been in that situation, and all the various communities I'm a part of, the different aspects of my individual identity, more or less exist in harmony with each other in my own life.

Any other articles you recommend checking out about Paul Ryan and his stance or history on LGBT issues? Let me know. Are you a member of the LGBT community that supports him? Please share why.

Also, coming up next week for Social Media Monday, I'll be blogging about Paul Ryan and the response his nomination had in social media. Definitely let me know if you've seen any particular memes are parody accounts on twitter, as well,

Until next time,

JR

Why to only friend people you know on Facebook

Hey there,

So this has come up before and it has recently come up again in talking with friends about Facebook, my friend'ing policy. It's pretty simple: I accept friend requests from people have met in person. As long as that has happened, we're good.

I know, I'm a bit of a stickler. And by no means is this original, for some it might be too strict, for others too relaxed, as they only connect with good friends and/or family. And this is on top of the unspoken rule that I don't accept friend requests from organizations or companies. I'll like your page, but if you've got a personal profile set up for your business or nonprofit, then you're not only not doing the minimal work to do social media right, but it also means you're violating Facebook policy.  But I digress.

Yes, there are exceptions to any rule, and I ever-so-slightly fibbed with my subject line. Just so you know, I'll put it out there that as of the time of this post, there are two people I am friends with on Facebook that I haven't met in person. At least, not yet. One of them is a fellow intern at Dance Place, whom I assume I'll be meeting sooner or later when our internships start in September. The other is a fellow GALA Chorus member who I did not meet this past year in Denver but we were both there at the same time, and we mean to keep in touch with each other and meet in person at the next GALA Festival in 2016.

Other than those two, the other friends I have on Facebook are all individuals, whose paths I've been grateful to have had cross with my own, at some point in our lives. And that is part of the intent of Facebook, and I'm a bit of a social media purist. I want to use platforms the way their creators intended them to be used. FB actually spells it out in their help section, if you check out their page on friends & requests:

Who should I send friend requests to?

Facebook is a place for connecting with friends, family, and other people you know personally. You should send friend requests to people you have a real-life connection to, like your friends, family, coworkers, or classmates. 

These policies, both the site and my personal one, actually keep things simple for me. I only have to worry about where & when I met someone. I don't have to think about why they want to friend me, how we know each other, each time I get a friend request. This is part of why Facebook launched their subscribe feature for public profiles almost a year ago. Here's a quote from a Mashable article about it:

The button gives you a way to follow the content others are posting without actually becoming Facebook friends with them. In a lot of ways, it’s like following somebody on Twitter...(read more)

Facebook directly addresses subscribing to someone as an alternative to friending them, in situations where you don't know them, and they have this up in their FAQ:

What’s the difference between subscribing to someone and adding a friend?

You should only add someone as a friend when you know them personally. If you don't know someone personally but want to hear what they have to say, subscribing is a good option. When you subscribe to someone, you'll only be able to see their public updates. 

I personally think there's a fine line between accepting friend requests from strangers and having public posts people can subscribe to, so why not just keep it simple.

So in looking to provide some context for this blog post, I actually googled "facebook what if i friend people i don't know". There were some cases I hadn't even considered to be issues with this, some more extreme than others. One that stuck out seemed to say don't do this if you're a criminal, as it's how some got caught. Another mentioned ID theft as a concern with letting strangers access your personal data, especially if you haven't deciphered Facebook's privacy settings.

Anyway, that's just me. And I wanted to share. Ultimately, regardless of Facebook's intents, it comes down to personal preferences. If you don't mind accepting requests for stranger, just make sure you're countering by being thoughtful of every post you put out there. And if you're going to do that, you might as well just make your profile public and allow people to subscribe to it. That being said, if you'd like to connect with me on FB, please feel free to subscribe below!! :-)

- JR

Vlog - Pinterest in the morning

Hey there,

So apparently I hate free time. This is one of the few weekends I've had off all year, and I decide to vlog almost first thing in the morning. Actually, second. The first thing (before I realize it) is I'm going through my Pinterest followers and follow...ees(?) with a fine tooth comb in a way I haven't since receiving an invite in the spring. I figure it had something to do with the fact that Pinterest just went public and was no longer invite only.

There's an article on Huffington Post, "Pinterest Open To Public, Gets Rid Of Invite-Only Policy":

Rejoice and pin! The interweb's favorite image-sharing social network is now open to the public. 

Previously, people who wanted an account from which to share quirky recipes or photos of stylish coiffures had to sign up for an invitation and wait patiently until...(read more)

I'm actually in a group of Social Media managers where someone took it personally that Pinterest had gone through an invite-only phase. To them in made the site seem stuck-up and snooty. When I had brought up that Facebook had started out as somewhat exclusive, he thought that it made sense, in that the purpose was for communities of friends to connect with each other. I pointed out that that is in essence what an invite-only phase is (assuming that people are emailing and spamming strangers) to which his response was to shift the argument to how invite-only didn't work for Google+ once they went public.

In my opinion this was comparing apples to oranges, and in terms of driving traffic, Pinterest has decidedly established their seat at the Social Media table...but it became clear to me that this was not really a conversation, as this individual had made up his mind (for whatever reasons) to not be open to considering this site a useful tool for him, his organization, or his community.

But if YOU want to connect on Pinterest, here I am. :-)

More than anything, I'm really curious as to how the arts community is and can use this. In fact, this past week's #ArtsMgtChat was on Pinterest & Instagram. Definitely a timely chat, and I believe the transcript will be out sometime in the next week.

Anyway, I digress. If you're on Pinterest as well, please feel free to share your profile in the comments. And if you have any thoughts or questions about Pinterest, I'd definitely love to hear 'em.

- JR

Chik-fil-A's LGBT stance: Business & politics collide

A visual meme from
the Courage Campaign

You've probably heard about it by now.

"The Muppets have filed for divorce from Chick-fil-A citing irreconcilable differences" (thank you, Ricky!!).  And just in case you haven't, or even if you have,  Jezebel has a great piece on it, "Muppets and Homophobes Locked in Fierce Battle Over Chick-fil-A":

Last week, Chick-fil-A's CEO confirmed what liberal fun-ruiners already knew — the restaurant not only serves up delicious waffle fries, but also some good old fashioned from-scratch bigoted homophobia. Like Mom used to make! (read more...)

This caused the Muppets, via the Jim Henson Company, specifically their Facebook page, to assert their own stance on the matter:

A parody of
Chick-fil-A's catchphrase 

The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over fifty years and we have notified Chick-Fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors. Lisa Henson, our CEO is personally a strong supporter of gay marriage and has directed us to donate the payment we received from Chick-Fil-A to GLAAD. (http://www.glaad.org/)

If you're on Facebook, you can go here to see the note. As of the time of this post, the note has had almost 12,000 likes, roughly 5,600 shares, and over 2,500 comments, mostly positive and supportive. And as you can see from the images posted, it's inspired a number of visual memes shared via social media.

The divorce also inspired calls for a boycott of Chick-fil-A from the LGBT community and its allies, but als a day of support from those who consider themselves stewards of the "traditional family".

The Atlantic posted an interesting opinion piece, addressing the call to boycott,  "In Defense of Eating at Chick-fil-A" which kicks off the article by asking, seemingly rhetorically:

Do we really want a country where people won't do commerce with those who have beliefs different than their own? (read more...)

I consider myself a man of logic, and for the most part, I could follow the author's point, and agreed with certain aspects of it. Until he stopped short of seeing his argument out to fruition. While I can empathize with his feelings about the knee-jerk reaction to scream "boycott" in a crowded theatre when you realize a company you've supported doesn't support you, to me this causal relationship, this flow of money can't be ignored.

Because I'd rather be part of a society where we might feel the desire to boycott more than we need to, versus one that encourages a culture of consuming without considering consequence and not speaking up against discrimination.

There is always consequence where profit is concerned. In fact I would say that it's actually hypocritical to claim that you treat every customer with "honor, dignity and respect", when as soon as you have the money of your LGBT customers you spend it on policies and rhetoric that causes harm to them. It's as if to say they're only your customers at the time of purchase.

And to encourage people to spend blindly, without thought for what business owners spend their profits on, when it's spent on organizations that affect others' lives for better or worse...I would say that is the worst trait of consumer culture.

On the flip-side you have Boston's Mayor, Mayor Thomas M. Menino, who has vowed to keep the franchise out of his city. Time has a piece on this, "Boston Mayor Blocks Chick-fil-A Franchise from City over Homophobic Attitude":

"You can’t have a business in the city of Boston that discriminates against the population. We’re an open city, we’re a city that’s at the forefront of inclusion." (read more...)

What it comes down to is corporate philanthropy. Grantspace has a page answering the question "Where can I find information on corporate giving?"

And it's the realization on the part of businesses and corporations that what they do with their profits can encourage or discourage consumption of their product. Anything that goes to something other than their own personal pursuit of happiness and begins to affect others is up for scrutiny. While most corporations have acknowledged this to some extent, it seems Chick-fil-A believes that their consumers and the causes their profit support exist in two different worlds.

Hopefully this will be a wake-up call for them as similar issues have been for others companies and even non-profits, teaching that eternal and universal lesson, with every action comes an equal and opposite reaction.

This is a bad thing when that action works against and excludes people. And a good thing when the action works with and includes others.

Divided, we fall, and all. Obviously, all this is just my opinion and based on personal experience. Would love to hear what others think, even if, especially if it's a different point of view, as long as it's constructive and respectful.

- JR

Two social media books have shipped!!

So first off, curse you Amazon!! For making it so easy to find and order things.

*sigh*

Okay, now that I've got that out of the way, I'm REALLY excited for these two books I ordered. I received the emails last night saying that they have been shipped.

One book is titled Social Media for Social Good: A How-to Guide for Nonprofits. Published in August of 20122, its description on Amazon is:

Based on more than 15 years of experience in nonprofit communications and 15,000+ hours spent utilizing social and mobile media, Social Media for Social Good: A How-To Guide for Nonprofits is a comprehensive 256-page hardcover book packed with...(read more)

Heather Mansfield is the author and is one of the main individuals involved with one of my go-to website on social media advice and references for nonprofits, Nonprofit Tech 2.0: A Social Media Guide for Nonprofits.

DEFINITELY check out their website and connect with 'em on any of the 10 social networks they've got linked on their home page and/or email as well as SMS.

For my second order, the book is Social Media Tactics for Nonprofits. It was published a bit more recently than the title above, in February of this year, and its description reads:

101 Social Media Tactics for Nonprofits features 101 actionable tactics that nonprofits can start using today, and most of the featured resources are free. Broken down into five key areas, this unique guide explains the steps and tools needed to... (read more)

While I'm not familiar with either of the co-authors, I did recognize the contributor of the foreword, Beth Kanter. With regard to not recognizing the others, I chalk that up to how much I'm still dipping my toes in the social media pool, rather than it being any reflection of their own presence or authority. Besides, I got the book, right? And seeing Beth Kanter's name was just icing on the cake.

You can keep up with her by checking out her website and connecting on any of the 6 social networks she's linked on her home page, as well as by rss feed.

But I digress. I'm personally a fan of books (and I not-so-secretly want to start a Social Media Book/Reading Club). And when it comes to social media, a friend brought up a concern of how dynamic the platforms are in terms of updates and format changes and any other number of things to keep up with. The question became, how useful are books like this if the subject they're referring to has  changed by the time the book is published, much less referred back to months or years down the road.

While this might be true, I believe that when it comes to overall strategy and tactics like what is addressed in the books I've ordered, I believe that they can and will still be relevant regardless of how the various social networks might evolve and manifest.

So that being said, if anyone else thinks they might join me in adding to these titles to their library, or already have, please be in touch!! And if you have any other books you'd recommend, then definitely do so.

- JR

Top 3 moments at GALA Festival so far

Hey,

So as some of you might or might not know, I'm in Denver for my first ever GALA Festival. Just in case, it's an event organized by GALA Choruses, every four years.

And I just wanted to share my top 3 moments, so far, of many!! Every hour's been full of significant and wonderful ones, so these aren't necessarily more so. They're just the ones that have stuck out for one reason or another. In no particular order, here they are:

The first was the audience's reception to our performance of Alexander's House. The synopsis of the story is that it's about what happens when a man passes away and his lover and son meet for the first time. Other stories come out of the woodwork as ownership passes from the former to the latter, especially as the deceased left his wife and child when the son was young. There are definitely many more layers to that story, each of which is significant to one person or another who has seen the show.

But I know for me, leaving that theatre and just seeing the look in people's eyes...in all the work I've done, I've never experienced that raw and true of an emotional connection after a show, the gratitude for that gift of story and music. It was very humbling.

In fact, just talked about it with our Chorus President, one of many individuals who give everything a chorine can, and more (check out who else is on the board). Experiencing the audience's response to last night's show reaffirmed the work we do, both locally with GMCW, and as members of the larger LGBT chorale movement.

Which leads me right into my next favorite moment, the Our Legacy = Our Song concert, last night.

Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you touched the stream of history, and jumped in at its source, as its being made?

That's what happened when Anna Crusis kicked off the concert. Growing up when I did, there's so much I realize I still don't know about where we've come from, with regard to the LGBT community. Seems to be a theme, what with seeing The Normal Heart at Arena Stage, recently.

These women, these organization...I still can't quite find the words to express just how much that moment and their performance last night has fundamentally changed my life. And it kept happening with every other chorus and piece that was performed.

So I've touched on my present, our past, and it leads me to my third favorite moment, and I'm just going to apologize for the cheese. My third favorite moment was really about the future, and not my future, or that of the LGBT community, but THE future for everyone. And it happened during yesterday afternoon's Youth Choruses block.

GMCW was actually proud to perform with one of the groups this past spring, Dreams of Hope, and they did a fantastic job, again, with their multi-disciplinary work, some of which I recognize in the pic to the left.

All the groups, large and small, were wonderful, but the moment that it really hit me, the phenomenal work these youth are doing in their communities, was when Diverse Harmony took the stage.

Diverse Harmony was the first GSA youth chorus to be started in the U.S., ten years ago.

And, again, I am speechless. Or, in this case, textless. These youth groups are game changers in terms of leading their communities to a more diverse and inclusive future. I really can't say much more at this moment, as I'm starting to tear up yet again in what has already been quite an emotional roller coaster.

But now that GMCW's work is done with yesterday's performance, I'm stoked to get out and continue supporting all my fellow LGBT chorines from the audience, for the rest of the fest!!

- JR

P.S. Here's a YouTube clip of the audience's response to Alexander's House. And for anyone who might not have seen the performance, the recording's available for download at CD baby.

GALA Festival 2012 on social media

Hey there,

For any other GALA Chorus members who want to connect on Facebook or Twitter with this year's festival approaching in Denver, here are some links.

On Facebook:

• GALA Choruses - Official Facebook page
• GALA Chorus members - Unofficial FB group
• LGBT Choruses - A public list I made of LGBT chorus FB pages

On Twitter:

• GALA Choruses - Official Twitter account
• #GALAfestival12 - hashtag
• #gala12 - hashtag
• LGBT Choruses - A public list I made of choruses and members
• Chorus hashtags
• #SDGMC - San Diego Gay Men's Chorus
• #TCGMC - Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus
• #VMCDenver - Vancouver Men's Chorus

Looking forward to meeting GALA Chorus members from around the country and the world this upcoming week and weekend, in Denver,

JR